a little something for those never ending thoughts

Romans 12:2 says, “Do not be conformed to this world…but be transformed (changed) by the [entire] renewal of your mind [by its new ideals and its new attitude], so that you may prove [for yourselves] what is the good and acceptable and perfect will of God…” (The Amplified Bible).

So in other words, stop worrying about others and focus on being the best you that you can be (sounds a little like a military slogan,that wasn’t on purpose). 

I have a real problem in my life currently of having a problem of “meditating” on all the things that are going wrong or how I can or should fix things but don’t have the emotional or physical energy to do the battle and do it without it being a bigger sore spot down the road. I need to change my attitude and way of thinking and focus on the positives of my life-I can’t make Blake and Debi change themselves or their situation, sure I can think about ways to help, but you can’t help people who don’t really want the help. I honestly believe the two of them are much happier being angry and having someone to blame things on and it makes their respective significant others seem somehow so much different, when in reality we are not that different. We have wants and needs and thoughts and feelings about the situation they have been living in for ten years. I have the right to be angry at her and at him, because ultimately their decisions affect my children, but that doesn’t make it any less of a sin-my pride and my “I’m right attitude” are serious down falls that I am willing to put out there for all of you to know. If more people were willing to admit their wrongs and work on forgiveness I don’t think situations would escalate to the point where I felt more anxiety over Blake’s son visiting than the joy and peace I should have felt because he was stepping up and being a father. I missed out on those things as a child and only want to see the men in my life do right by their children. I also married a man some years ago who had his own share of dysfunctional family issues and I think today as an adult it is affecting him and likely (though you would be hard pressed to get him to admit it) did have an affect on our entire marriage and subsequent divorce. 

I can’t change these men or women,I can only work on me and hope that I have a positive impact on them. I can also love them as if they have never hurt me or crossed me, man that can be difficult too, and something I probably struggle with daily. 

” Do not gloat when your enemy falls;
    when they stumble, do not let your heart rejoice” Proverbs 24:17 

No I don’t always have my Bible handy, so for those of you worried about me getting preachy you will be able to read some of these where I am just down right pissed and sound like I have never picked one up, those are mostly private though as I’m embarrassed when I feel that way without a thought or two to counter my emotions.

In special regard to the issues we have been having with Blake’s ex wife I present to you 

Matthew 5:41 

“If anyone forces you to go one mile, go with them two miles.”

It is likely in our best interest to not try to force anyone’s hand, just try to go along as amicably as possible to make the best of what we have been given to work with and always remember she is human just like us!  

I think I’ve said enough about the issues that I have tended to “meditate” on in the last few weeks, those nagging things that we never seem to have ample time to talk about. Someday when the kids are grown and gone then maybe Blake and I can try being a couple that isn’t pulled in ten directions. 

Prayers for Lisa Marie in regards to her upcoming medical tests! 

My sister has a month to line up a new job, and so I’m praying for her too. 



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